What to Wear for The End of the World


There's a Facebook friend who regularly posts photos of hazy skies with blurs in them, claiming that it is part of an approaching celestial system which will greatly affect earth, possibly this year, and that these are signs of the last days.  Which begs the question, what to wear.

It is true that with all these lives upended by Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, Jose, Katia (keep going down the alphabet), large swaths of India, Nepal and Bangladesh under water, and a magnitude 8.1 earthquake in one of the world's most populous cities, it can be hard to focus on fashion.

But some of us persevere.  The shoe-gawkers who commented that Melania Trump misunderstood when Houston asked for pumps did not consider that some of us feel most comfortable and prepared in footwear different than what they might select.  The aforementioned FB friend's end-of-the-world posts are usually accompanied by a link to a (43-minute long) video with advice on how to prepare, which, skimming through, appears to offer no pointers on dressing for the occasion.  The word 'holey' popped up a few times, however, so let's go with it.

Growing up, clothes that were clean and hole-free were the only necessary ingredients for being well-dressed (at least in my household), but that began to change with the grunge look in the 90's. 

Why is this look so practical for the end of the world?  Let's start with the obvious:  access to great online stores and sewing machines will likely be disrupted, so a) they're inevitable.  Second, holes afford us the opportunity to show off our best assets, be it our knees or the clear-ish patch of skin on the inside of our left thigh.  And finally, if you can't find clothes with strategically placed holes, it's so easy to make them.  I'm reminded of this by my brother-in-law, who, at the start of the holey craze was surrounded by enough high-priced holey wear at Abercrombie and Fitch to knit his brow concernedly and ask the sales girl if they didn't have socks with holes already in them.  (They did not, he'd have to diy it).

So, godspeed, friends in fashion, in your holey wardrobe preparedness*.

*Rain gear excepted